From my fairly fresh-off-the-boat Indian co-worker:
"That Californication show, it is like porn! I do not expect porn on my TV! I do not like watching porn when I am not expecting porn, you know? I already made the mistake of renting Caligula, thinking that it was a historical documentary!"

Myrna and I laughed our butts off.

Check out this pattern for a HILARIOUS knit Swine-Flu Masque. He's even graciously offering the pattern for free, so all can make their own "protection" against the H1N1!